Listen, dude.  We both know that in the past, you’ve missed a few.  Don’t get me wrong; I appreciate all the presents you’ve left under the tree, even the dinosaur sweater back in ‘91 which was immediately destined for the way back of the closet.  I’ll take whatever I can get at Christmastime.

To help you out this year, I’ve prepared below my first genuine Christmas List since about 1995.  Yeah, I know, this kinda takes the fun out of things a bit.  But it also eliminates the possibility of another dinosaur sweater.  For that reason alone, it’s worth it.  Anyway, without further ado, I present the 2008 Christmas List:

HP LaserJet M1522nf Laser Multifunction ($400).  This bad boy prints, copies and scans, and has a 50-page automatic document feeder.  This is exactly the kind of tool one needs to write the Ultimate Manifesto.  (Note: This particular model, the “nf” version, includes a fax machine function which I don’t need.  The “n” version (i.e., model number M1522n), which does not have the fax functionality, is actually what I’m looking for… it’s just hard to find. This model, the M1522nf, is obviously sufficient.)

T-Mobile G1 with Google — Black ($179).  There’s simply no excuse for this.  I already have a wonderful smartphone (the T-Mobile Dash) that does everything I need it to do.  The G1, therefore, is simply on the eventual “wish list”.  Still, this little guy will make me feel like James Bond.

World of Warcraft — Wrath of the Lich King ($40).  This is the latest expansion pack for WoW.  Eileen’s got to be pretty excited that our marriage has more video games in its near future.

Panasonic 50″ Plasma 1080p HDTV ($1400).  Everything about this TV is self explanatory.  Watching movies on this thing will hurt.  Dancing with the Stars will be so real, I will lose it when Edyta takes the stage.

Sony Blu-ray DVD Player with 1080p Output ($250).  What’s the point of having a high-def TV if you don’t have a high-def DVD player?  This Sony model is going to crush our living room into little pieces.

Sony 900W 5.1 Channel Home Theater System ($200).  This is actually a remarkably good deal; the receiver alone is worth about $200, but for that price, you also get six satellite speakers, a sub-woofer and an IPod dock.

XBox 360 Elite Console — Black ($400).  Bad guys need to die, and the XBox 360 will make sure it happens.  Game titles I’d also like for this thing: Halo 3, Halo Wars, Guitar Hero, NCAA Football 2008 and Madden 2009.

Panasonic 2-line Corded Phone ($180).  What’s better than a home phone?  How about a home phone with two line inputs.  If you’re feeling especially generous, you can also get me the expansion cordless handset for $80 (I’d like 2-3 of those)!

Panasonic Rechargeable Beard Trimmer ($28).  It takes effort to look as handsome as I do, and specifically, it takes a top-notch beard trimmer.

Black & Decker Blower/Vac ($58).  Dead leaves are the problem.  The B&D blower-vac is the solution.  This plugin version lends enough horsepower to put the leaves where you want them, and then mulch them into oblivion, with no raking whatsoever.